The man cave: the place where men eat buffalo wings, watch football games and beat video games.
The lady den: a cloud of happiness and tranquility where women go to seek silence, tranquility and lavender scents.
No house is complete without a space devoted to the women and a place devoted for the men. Sure, wives and husbands, boyfriends and girlfriends and roommates of all relationships enjoy spending time with each other – typically. As a person who lives with my significant other as well as a roommate, I understand that sometimes we just need those few moments to either be by ourselves, or be with people who are similar to us.
The Man Cave
I have seen and spent time in my fair share of man caves. I have chilled in them, partied in them, slept in them and cleaned them. I have shed tears in them and laughed so hard my ribs fractured while in man caves. They are truly wonderful spaces.
There are usually multiple TV’s, one for each sport or each game being aired. Coolers and mini fridges are pretty constantly stocked with an assortment of beer suited for nearly every occasion. And let me talk about couches, man caves have lots of them. And they’re usually older couches that have softened through the years. Men also love decorating with wood because it reminds them of the outdoors so there are often wooden lockers lining areas of the room for the storage of athletic equipment and poker sets.
The walls are my favorite element of a man cave. They are so eclectic. Naturally there are sports posters of their favorite teams and signed jerseys from their favorite players, but you’ll almost always find something really weird hanging on the wall; like a spiderman action figure with a duct taped dart in his hand or a baby doll head covered in face makeup to support the Packers leaning on the frame of another decorative piece. Once I just found an old can of Campbell’s tomato soup, unopened.
Men cherish these spaces for helping them maintain their masculinity, especially in a home full of princesses for those men who have wives and daughters. The beer makes up for the tea, the football makes up for Bubble Guppies and the video games simply allow him to shoot something, in the face. Multiple times.
The Lady Den
Now, the lady den is a bit different than the man cave though they serve similar purposes of escape. The lady den will house no old couches, no sports insignia and absolutely no beer (it’s bad for blemishes). Tears, however, are in high supply in the lady den. Not because of sadness, but because of movies like Marley and Me and Atonement.
Don’t get a lady den confused with small child’s bedroom. The lady den will not be pink, it will not have glitter and it will surely not be a motherland to unicorn trinkets. The lady den is sophisticated, it is classy; it is heaven.
Low music will continually be played in the background, most likely from a vintage record player. Accompanying the music will be the sweet and subtle scent coming from the latest Scentsy. The floors will be lined in fluffy rugs, the kind that look like sheep wool but are the cheap knock off from World Market.
Couches will not be couches at all, but rather Victorian fainting chaises. On the walls will be floating shelves displaying our antiques like typewriters and vases. Books, books, books galore line the shelves rimming the windows.
For women, these rooms are about much more than cutting loose, they are about finding your zen and learning how to hold onto it. Women, especially mothers, are busy bees. They deserve a place to go where they can feel like being adult women who have nothing to do but paint their toenails and practice the lyrics to “Turn Back Time” by Cher.